


Raising Milly

by TwistedRocketPower



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Drama, Family, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-03 06:59:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14563521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwistedRocketPower/pseuds/TwistedRocketPower
Summary: Dan and Phil always dreamed of having a family. On October 4, 2021, that dream came true.





	1. Newborn

**Author's Note:**

> So, this story has been in my head for months, and I decided this would be a perfect time to start writing it! I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Note: Additional tags may be added as the story continues. I plan to write through many different years and scenarios. IF you ever see tags that need to be added, let me know!
> 
> tumblr: softgolftechniques

When they first started working with Lily at the adoption agency, she told them not to just go with the first person they met. She told them to take a lot of time, read into different families and children, and spend a few months talking it over together.

Then they were handed Hanna’s file, top of the stack, and they never bothered to open the rest of the files after that.

Hanna was nineteen years old, heading into her second year at university, and was desperate to find her unborn child a good home. 

She was eight months pregnant when Dan and Phil first met her in person, and they all seemed to click right away. Hanna was an English major with a minor in Film Studies. She wanted to be a writer, or a producer, or a professor, or a movie critic… She had no idea really, but she wanted to be able to have options and she wanted to be able to take risks and make mistakes, and she knew she couldn’t do that if she kept her baby.

She knew she’d need to get a good job and settle down, and she knew she’d regret doing that in the future. She never wanted the child to feel like a burden, but she knew she’d probably think that way one day if she kept it.

Dan and Phil spent the next six weeks getting everything ready. They decorated the nursery in gray and green, a compromise between Dan wanting black and white and Phil wanting every color in the rainbow.

They baby proofed the house, covering every plug, adding locks to all the cabinets and wardrobes, putting medication and cleaning products up high, and making sure there were no wires on the floor that the baby could grab onto. Dan even thought about having someone come in, rewire the house, and move all the plugs up two or three feet, but Phil had to stop him there.

They worried every day about Hanna changing her mind, and she reminded them every day that she wasn’t going to change her mind. She knew that she didn’t want to raise a child alone and her ex-boyfriend gave up his rights the day he got in his car and drove away after she told him she was pregnant. 

It was hard keeping such a huge secret from the world. There were so many times Dan almost let something slip, and a couple of times that Phil almost posted a picture from the nursery. They had to buy most of the baby furniture and supplies online just so no one would see them out, walking around with a giant box that had a picture of a crib on the side.

On October 4th, 2021, Mildred Ann Howell-Lester was born. Dan and Phil were both in the room, Dan on the left and Phil on the right, holding Hanna’s hands as she pushed. They both held onto the scissors and cut the umbilical cord. They let Hanna hold her against her chest as the doctor cleaned her off. Dan took her in his arms and held her for a couple of minutes, and then Phil had his turn, and the world seemed to completely stop in that moment as a little, tiny, perfect human pouted and cried.

Once she settled down, they let Hanna hold her again, and they took a picture of the two of them together, because Hanna wanted a closed adoption so this was the last time she’d see Milly. She didn’t want the picture for herself, but Dan and Phil wanted it so they could show it to Milly as she grew up and tell her about her amazing biological mom who gave them the best gift ever.

In fact, Mildred hadn’t been a name on either Dan or Phil’s list of potential names, but as they grew closer to Hanna and found out that was her middle name, they knew it would be perfect for their little girl. They could call her Milly and it would fit perfectly with their own nicknames of Danny and Philly. 

After Hanna told Milly goodbye, they took Milly off to finish getting checked out and they took Hanna up to a recovery room. However, Dan and Phil didn’t let her go until they gave her a long, teary hug and thanked her a million times.

 

Milly stayed in the hospital for two days, and that’s where Dan and Phil stayed as well. The only time they left her side was for bathroom and food breaks, but even then they went separately so one of them was always with her. The nurses quickly became their best friends and showed them how to do anything and everything they had only practiced on dolls before now.

They became pros at changing her diaper, feeding her, and understanding her whines and cries. They knew when it was going to be a poop diaper or a pee diaper before they could even smell it. They learned she liked to be rocked and patted on the bottom as she fell asleep. They learned she liked laying her head on their shoulder as they walked around with her. The nurses said she must like the view from up there, and thankfully Phil had his phone out because he didn’t know what he’d do if he missed taking a photo of the huge smile on Dan’s face in that moment.

Milly had Dan’s dark brown eyes and Phil’s natural, strawberry blonde hair, and was somehow a perfect combination of the two of them. She was tiny, only six pounds, nine ounces, and eighteen inches long. She was beautiful, with soft, pale skin that Dan joked was coming for Phil’s branding. She had a button nose, and pink lips, and rosy cheeks. Her little hand wrapped around their fingers perfectly, and her tiny toes would crinkle up when they’d touch her feet.

She loved being bundled up in a blanket, and Dan quickly became a pro at wrapping her the perfect way. She only whined when she was hungry, and she cried when they’d wipe her as they changed her diaper, but she was perfect. “A perfect princess,” Dan would say, and Phil couldn’t disagree.

 

“Is she still asleep?” Dan asked as he unlocked the door to their townhouse. They had bought it a year ago, after deciding they wanted to stay in London but have a bit more space. With a three story townhouse, they still felt like they had an apartment, but they also had a little backyard. It was the best of both worlds, and a perfect place to start a family.

“No, she’s just looking around,” Phil replied, keeping his voice down. He turned the carseat around as he walked into the house. “Look, Milly,” he said, “this is your home.”

“Wait!” Dan exclaimed, dropping all of his bags and patting at his pockets. “Phil!” he whined, “I told you not to come in until I had my phone recording!”

“Sorry!” Phil replied, taking a couple of steps back so he was outside the door. “We can reenact it. She barely saw anything.”

Dan rolled his eyes and sighed, but pulled his phone out anyway and began to record. “Alright, come in.”

“Look, Milly,” Phil started again and, to his credit, he did sound exactly as he had before. “This is your home.”

She blinked a couple of times, her eyes moving from the staircase to Dan, then back to the staircase, and back to Dan. “Oh my God, she’s the cutest thing in the entire world. I want to eat her, Phil.”

Phil laughed and set the carseat down. “I think that would be frowned upon, Dan, so let’s not do that.”

Dan stopped recording and put his phone away, then walked over to the carseat and picked it up. He took it over to the couch and set it back down, then unbuckled her. “She’s so fucking tiny, Phil, oh my God!” He said with a smile as he moved her arms from under the straps.

“You can’t curse anymore,” Phil reminded him, walking over to him and poking him on the arm. “Remember?”

“I think I’ve got a little while to go before I need to worry about my language, Phil.”

“It’s good to get started now,” Phil said as Dan pulled her out of the carseat and cradled her in his arms. “That way you don’t make mistakes when she’s older.”

Dan stared at Phil. “You really think I’m never accidentally going to say fu-  _ the f word- _ around her?”

Phil started to speak, then he stopped and shrugged. “Well, if you start now then there will be  _ less  _ accidents in the future.”

Dan nodded. “That sounds right. Here,” he said, handing Milly over to Phil, “you take her and I’m going to put the formula in the kitchen. Got her?” He asked as he pulled his hands away.

“Yes, I’ve got her,” Phil replied, speaking in a baby voice as he stared down at Milly. “Daddy’s silly, isn’t he? Of course I’ve got you, right? Yeah, Papa’s got you.”

Dan smiled, blinking away tears as he turned to grab up their bags of stuff. He hadn’t heard Phil use “daddy” or “papa” in a sentence before now. Well, he  _ had,  _ back when they were deciding what they wanted to be called, but they hadn’t used the terms since Milly was born, and it made his heart swell up more than he thought possible.

 

Dan was only gone for a couple of minutes but, when he got back, Phil was staring at Milly, her hand wrapped around his index finger, and a tear was falling down his cheek.

“What’s the matter?” Dan asked, his voice gentle, as he walked over to them. He knelt down beside the rocking chair then looked up at Phil, bringing his hand to his cheek to wipe the tear away. 

Phil shook his head and sucked in a breath. “Nothing,” he said, smiling over at Dan. “I’m just really happy is all. Really, really happy.” He glanced back to Milly, “I’m so in love with her,” he said, then looked at Dan again, “and I’m so in love with you.”

“Fuck, Phil,” he said, wiping his own tears away. He leaned over and pressed his hand against Phil’s cheek, then pulled him in for a kiss. “This baby is making me so emotional I’m going to lose all of my edgy branding,” Dan added as he moved back to rest his head and arms against the armrest of the rocker. 

“I think you lost all of your edgy branding the day you made your edgy branding,” Phil joked, causing Dan to smack his shoulder. 

“Shut up,” Dan said. “Your disturbing Milly. She’s trying to sleep.”

“Oh, we can’t have that, can we?” Phil asked, turning to Milly again.

“No, we can’t,” Dan agreed. 

They sat there, together, for nearly an hour, without ever saying a word. They just watched their little girl sleep, both wondering how they ever got so lucky.

 

Three days later, a short visit from both sets of grandparents was coming to an end. 

All four of them had stayed at the house, taking turns holding the baby and making food for Dan and Phil to have in their freezer.

It was nice to have them around. It gave Dan and Phil a chance to film a couple of gaming videos, even though they found themselves rushing through it just so they could be around the baby again. 

However, even though it was good having them there, it felt even better once they left. It felt good to get back to the three of them being a family again, and not having to nod and smile through the input of well-meaning parents. 

“Martyn and Cornelia come day after tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I wonder how Gus is doing?”

“I’m sure he’s loving all the attention he’s getting. Martyn sends me photos of him asleep between them in bed every night.”

Dan smiled. “I hope he’s good with Mill,” he said. “I don’t know what I’ll do if he isn’t.”

Phil reached his leg out across the couch, tapping Dan’s thigh with his toes. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “He’s always been good with our friends kids, and the shelter told us he was good with children when we adopted him. He’ll be fine.”

“That’s true,” Dan said, then smiled. “Remember you asked if they had any babies around just so you could see, for sure, that he was good with kids?”

Phil laughed. “Yes, I do. I also remember the look the volunteer gave me after I asked.”

“And then we went out and bought a babydoll that same day so you could test it out, like that’s somehow the same thing?”

“Hey! That babydoll cried and wiggled and Gus never bit off any of it’s plastic body parts! Plus, he’s been around  _ real  _ babies since then and he’s been fine. Nothing to worry about.”

“You better be right, Lester.”

“I always am, Howell.”

 

That night, they laid in bed with Milly between them. It wasn’t the sleeping arrangement they had planned to have, but they didn’t trust they’d wake up to a monitor, and they missed her when she was laying in the crib by the bed. Dan had spent an entire night researching co-sleeping and whispering all the pros and cons to Phil, until Phil told him that what everyone else said didn’t matter- for now, this worked for them, and that’s all that mattered.

So, Milly had her spot between them, sleeping secure in the oversized bed. Dan had his arm resting gently on top of her stomach, feeling her breathing in and out, and Phil had his hand over Dan’s, rubbing his thumb slowly back and forth over Dan’s hand.

“We never really said how we’d tell people,” Phil whispered. “It’s a conversation we always held off on.”

“Yeah,” Dan replied, pausing briefly as Milly turned her head from one side to the other. “I don’t want to tell anyone yet.”

“I don’t either,” Phil agreed. “Although, they might all think we adopted her as mates, like some people still think about us buying a house and getting a dog.”

Dan laughed. “It’s not even about that,” he replied. “I think we both stopped caring if people knew about us a long time ago. It’s just… I really like us being in our own little world right now.”

Phil nodded. “I do too.”

They both snuggled a bit closer together, moving their hands off of Milly and intertwining them just below her tiny body. 

Phil squeezed Dan’s hand. “You’re already the best dad to ever dad.”

“And you’re the best Papa to ever Papa.”

“I love you,” Phil said with a gentle smile, “so much.”

Dan smiled back at him. “I love you too.”


	2. Six Months Pt. 1

“I can’t believe it,” Dan said, shaking his head. Milly was in his arms, and he was gently bouncing her up and down on his hip. “I literally cannot believe you did that, Phil.”

“I’m sorry!” Phil whined. “I panicked and I didn’t know what to do.”

Dan picked up a rattle from the floor and dropped it into Milly’s basket of toys, then he turned and glared at Phil. “You told people, on film, that you were buying diapers because we got a cat with ‘potty problems.’”

Phil leaned back into the couch and covered his face. “I didn’t expect a hoard of girls to run up to me in the store,” he mumbled through his hands. Dan walked over to him and pulled his hands from his face, making Phil look at him. “And I saw they had a camera,” Phil continued, “and I didn’t know what to do, and that’s the first thing that came out.”

“In ten years, Milly’s going to be able to see that video online and she’s going to have to go to therapy because her Papa called her a cat.”

“You know, this wouldn’t be a problem at all if we just told people we adopted a child. We’ve hidden her for six months. If we  _ told people  _ then we could do normal parent things, like go to the park, and take her with us to the store, and go places together instead of taking turns.”

Dan sighed as Milly rubbed her face against his shoulder and began to whine. “We’ll talk about that later,” he said, leaning down and handing Milly to Phil. “She’s getting tired. I’m gonna fix her a bottle.”

 

Milly cried a lot. It wasn’t just when she was hungry or tired, but nearly all the time. If she was awake, she was usually whining, or full on crying. 

They had to take turns holding her all night long, because she cried the second she was laid down. 

It had been three weeks since Dan and Phil had been able to sleep in the same bed at the same time. 

Usually, Dan stayed up with her from eleven until two, while Phil slept. Dan was fine with that, as he was still a night owl. It was easier for him to stay awake until two than it was for Phil.

But, at two, the alarm would go off, and Phil would stumble out of the room and take Milly from Dan. They’d grumble goodnights to each other, and then Dan would head to bed until five.

Another alarm sounded at five, and Dan would come out of the room. He’d turn on the coffee pot, then get Milly and Phil would head back to bed.

One more switch happened at eight, and Dan would sleep until eleven, then they’d spend the rest of the day together.

Gus, who always slept on the floor beside Dan and Phil’s bed, now slept beside the rocking chair in the living room.

When Dan or Phil weren’t walking her around the house, they were rocking her in that chair, and he’d stay beside them all night.

He’d be the first to jump up when she cried, staring up at her until she’d stop.

Sometimes, he was the only one who could get her to stop. 

She was able to sit up on her own, so they’d sit her on the floor and Gus would walk over and sit beside her. She’d rub her fist over his fur, or pat on his back, and he’d never move a muscle. Sometimes, she’d pull on his fur and Dan or Phil would have to stop her so it wouldn’t hurt him but, even then, he didn’t budge. The nearly twenty pound Corgipoo treated Milly like she was his, and Dan and Phil couldn’t have been more grateful.

The twenty minutes she’d spend on the floor with him, quiet and content, was often the only quiet time they got all day long. 

 

“Something has to be wrong,” Dan said one day. Milly had been crying practically nonstop, and hadn’t had a real nap all day.

“I know. There is no way this is normal. I mean, I know some babies cry more than others, but this is-”

“This is too much,” Dan finished, “and I have no idea what else to do. I’ve tried feeding her, walking her, rocking her, rubbing her tummy, stretching her legs, everything.”

“I know. I tried taking her in the backyard, but I think that somehow made it worse.” He walked over to Dan and took Milly. “You sit for a bit.”

Milly continued to cry, grabbing onto Phil’s shirt and soaking it with her tears.

“I think we should call the doctor,” Dan said, already pulling out his phone. “Maybe he could stop by today.”

Phil nodded. “That’s a good idea.”

 

She was allergic to her formula. That’s what the doctor said as his visit came to an end. He said her stomach was probably hurting almost constantly, which caused her to cry and whine more often. He wrote down the new formula for them to get and left, causing both of them to let out a breath of relief.

“Okay, so we just get the new formula and it’ll all be better,” Dan said, sitting down on the floor beside Milly and Gus, while she laid beside the dog and rubbed his fur.

Phil nodded. “Sounds like it. I’ll go get it, since I’m the one who’s dressed,” he said, glancing down at Dan’s sweatpants and old, torn t-shirt. 

“Okay. Get some more baby food while you’re out. She liked the peas-”

“And carrots,” Phil finished. “I know.” He walked over to the kitchen counter and grabbed the house key and his wallet, then headed back over to Dan. “Should I wear a disguise while I’m out?” He asked. “Change my identity or grow a quick beard? Maybe something’s upstairs in the prop room? I could grab those oversized sunglasses that we have.”

Dan was glaring up at him. “I don’t appreciate the sarcasm.”

“Well, what am I supposed to tell people if they see me out getting formula?”

“Tell them it’s to help your new cat’s bowel issues,” Dan deadpanned.

Phil rolled his eyes, but walked over to Dan, bent down, and kissed the top of his head. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Love you.”

“Love you too. Don’t you dare tell Milly bye. If she starts whining again, I’ll have to murder you.”

Phil glanced at Milly, who was still staring at Gus, playing with his fur.

“I’ll be quieter than something that’s really quiet,” he whispered, then slowly crept out of the house.

 

After a week on the new formula, Dan and Phil could tell a huge difference in Milly. She didn’t cry all the time anymore. She laughed, played, and was less clingy. It was still tough to get her to sleep, but they had been able to spend the last two nights together in bed for almost the entire night.

However, even though Milly’s problem had been fixed, it didn’t mend all of the issues in the house.

“I just want us to be a normal family,” Phil said, closing his laptop and tossing it on the couch beside him. “I want us to be able to go out and do things together.”

“We do go out,” Dan replied. He was lying on the floor, Milly sitting beside him and hitting the buttons on one of her musical toys. 

“Yeah, onto the back porch!” Phil exclaimed. 

“It’s different for us,” Dan said, becoming slightly annoyed. “We can’t go out and do normal things like everyone else.”

“Why not?” Phil asked. “I really don’t get it. This is absolutely insane, Dan!”

“They’ll all want to see and touch her!” Dan answered, sitting up. “They’ll want pictures with her and they’ll scream about her and she’ll be some sort of trophy to them and I don’t want that for her!”

“We can’t hide forever,” Phil said, lowering his voice so he didn’t scare Milly. “If we set rules and boundaries, it’ll be okay.”

“This is your problem,” Dan said, standing up. He began to clean up the living room. It was something he regularly did now. Anytime a conversation became uncomfortable for him, he’d get up and get busy with something else. “You never see the negative,” he continued. “You always think the world is perfect, and you can’t think that way when you have a baby.”

“Well, you have to stop acting like we’re the only public figures who have a kid. Look at all the people who have millions more fans than we do who have kids. They still set boundaries-”

“That no one listens to-”

“And they still go out and do things as a family. They don’t hide in their house for six months and pretend everything’s the same.”

Dan stopped in the middle of the living room, a stuffed animal in one hand and a rattle in the other, “I don’t want to talk about this right now,” he said, staring at Phil. “I don’t want to have this argument with Milly around.”

“Fine,” Phil replied. “We’ll talk this weekend then. I just finished messaging Mum and she agreed to come spend the night with Milly while we go to a hotel.”

Any remaining patience Dan had with Phil immediately left his body, and he could feel himself becoming hot. “What?” 

“She wants to stay a few days, but I got us one night at a nearby hotel so we could talk.”

“I did not-” Dan paused to take a breath and remind himself not to yell. "I did not agree to that.”

Phil sighed and stood so he’d be at eye level with Dan. “Listen, Dan, you won’t ever talk about this because Milly is around and you don’t want to argue in front of her and I get that but we… we have to talk about this, because it’s getting ridiculous. It’s just one night and we’ll be less than ten minutes away and-”

“I have to get a shower,” Dan interrupted, his voice stern, leaving no room for argument. “I hope you enjoy your night  _ alone  _ at the hotel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support with this fic! It means the world to me :)
> 
> tumblr: softgolftechniques


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